A year on and standing 2

[LH19]

I have not done anything to provoke / aggravate her and yet she is always behaving in that agitated manner.

One of my best friends is going through the same thing right now. Life hasn't met up to her expectations and right now she feels you are keeping her from having those expectations met. She feels like a caged animal. Time to open the caged door.

Then she started to bring out the instant which I dragged her to the psychiatrist for evaluation. It’s the kind of scenario when they push u for a reaction that it crossed your line then they cried victim.

You didn't break her so you can't fix her.

I told her to seek help for her issues.

Sounds controlling.

She said she did try to see a therapist previously but the therapist could not help her.

No one can help her because she doesn't want to be helped.

I recommend her to look for another one then.

You didn't break her so you can't fix her.

She had been mostly cordial since then till now till this morning she messaged me saying that she intent to take my suggestion and proceed with the divorce.

You set yourself up for that one.

She is suggesting that perhaps we can go out for dinner and talk in details about it. I told her it’s fine with me. I’ll leave the arrangement of the dinner to her.

The most overrated advice IMO given on this board. You want her to rethink her stance? Act like you can't wait to have the conversation.

Then she mentioned she would like to buy over my share of our existing home, claiming that it’s better not to cause too much changes to the environment for the kids.

She has a valid point here.

I told her I would want to consider about that because my initial thoughts was to divest the home if it brings better profit.

Is this true or a control thing?

Later I found out from my helper that she has actually been talking to the kids these few days about separation again behind my back. No wonder I do notice my chaps feeling Abit down but was not able to catch up with them much as I was returning late from work these 2 days.

She shouldn't be doing that and I would speak to her about it.

I think I had done enough and I just leave it to that. No regrets.

You faught dearly for your family and should be proud.

A particular incident that happened a month ago also diminished whatever much memories I had of whom she once was. I had a very bad fall that led to a grade 2 ankle sprain while at home. I was on the ground for 5 mins and unable to get up. She witness it and after a while just asked, “u ok?” Then called out to the kids saying “ur dad had a bad fall” before walking away. My helper and the dog was showing even more concern than her.

She's dead inside right now.

A wake up fall instead for me. So my intention now is, just go with the flow. Let her make the arrangements and I just go along with it.

Unless it conflicts with what is in your best interest.

Always thought that perhaps things might be better due to her changes these 2-3 weeks but it comes back to this. And I told myself if she raised the topic of divorce up again, that would be the end of my stand.

Things always have to get worse before they get better. She has to go on this journey.

Originally I thought of roughing it out for 6 years as that’s the typical max range for MLC that I read or for ever. But then I think is enough.

What makes you think it's MLC.

3 years and 5 months since the bomb dropped. I accept the closure to my marriage and the person that I shared my life with.

You can walk away with your head held high.

Although there’s some stirring within me still, it’s no longer as bad as before.

Time and space will do wonders for you.