I’ve realized a sad reality out there, is that in these dating platforms there are men in survival mode seeking validation .
I admit, I felt it was irresponsible and selfish of these men to do that. But it is really the responsibility of us women who have done the work to weed them out. I have expressed my frustration towards men who use OLD as their form of validation, but in the end , I need to weed it out and they are hurting themselves.
As for you Scott, it is harmful to you to land into a relationship while you are in survival mode. But nothing anyone says will stop you.
Sounds like your exW is finding her comfort zone on her own and is able to parent more comfortably. Your kids will certainly benefit from that
I have lived a lot of my life in survival mode. And this isn't really the forum to dig into all of what that means. It started when I was a kid. I got through it after college. Then it started again because of work. Then because of the affair.
I don't think I have to be 100% to date, matter of fact I can firmly state that no one is. I think I can be working through things, and I can have days where I'm surviving. I'm not asking to be saved by someone, I'll do that on my own. This isn't about someone else "fixing" me. Its about understanding my feelings and working through them.
And I don't think I was seeking validation but I got it, and I liked it. I think all of that is fair.
