Regarding not changing her last name. My XW said something pretty revealing, which at the time I totally didn’t get. I outright asked her about changing her name. It went something like this:
Me: I guess you’ll soon be a <OM Last Name>.
XW: No way! I’m not going to marry him!
Me: Oh, going back to <Maiden Name>?
XW: No way. Too many negative connotations with that name.
I realized the pain she was running from, is from her past. From her family’s past. From her family name.
Your XW isn’t keeping “your” last name to get at you. It’s just a name. Her reasons are, well, her reasons. And those might be pretty confusing. My XW was actually going to change her last name to “Rides in the Wind”. Because she likes to ride her bicycle fast into the wind. In the end she didn’t.
I’d set up an auto transfer of funds for payments. Paper trail, no forgetting, no worry if you go on a holiday, etc.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
