Another day in the life of

[LH19]

I won't comment on Ginger's love life directly but I will comment on DB SUCCES story MLCxH's comments.

I am not advocating for you to lower your standards or expect any less from the person you are dating. What I was advising was to temper your expectations on what is likely to happen.

I posted this to Don on another thread. IMO OLDing is great when you have zero expectations about it or from people.

There is a subtle but important difference between expectations on what the other person will do (not in your control) and expectations on what the other person needs to do (in your control).

Very subtle.

Slow down the process and see if they are willing to commit emotionally before things escalate sexually.

Yeah this is big. If I guy is really interested he will wait 5-10 dates.

Keep your eyes open to see if they meet your expectations. Don't judge too quickly but don't invest into the relationship till you are confident they make the cut.

I agree here and this is where I am stuck with the girl I am dating. Though 4 months seems like a long time. Since our time together is rare I still am not sure though things are becoming clearer.

This may mean many guys will get screened out by you or more likely they will disengage themselves but recognize that is a good thing.

Yep. Then like the dentist says "next".

If you are not invested, then it should be water off your back when they ghost you.

I couldn't agree more. DeJa is learning to not judge and invest too much in the beginning. Meeting quickly is the way to go.

On the flip side you may feel a greater sense of rejection since you are likely to go through longer periods of time without a new relationship and the hope that it brings.

This is why being happy and healthy on your own is so important.

Your quantity of dates and potential relationships will be a lot less but the quality will be likely higher.

Yeah so trying to find a quality guy on Tinder is like trying to find a stay at home mom in a strip club.

Since you are looking for a serious long term partner, you are looking to find only one good guy.

QB Josh Allen got one scholarship but he knew he only needed one college to believe in him. Now he is a millionaire.

Sadly, the last guy I was committed to, even when we were committed, expected me to fit into his life.

Learn from this experience. If there is a mismatch in the effort you are putting in versus what he puts in, you will end up hurt. Make them earn room in your life just as you strive to earn room in theirs. Doesn't mean you dump them immediately but don't invest more till they match your level of investment. If you give it sufficient time and they don't measure up, move on.

This is really great advice!