Another day in the life of

[MLCxH]

Ginger,
I understand the frustration you are experiencing. I am not advocating for you to lower your standards or expect any less from the person you are dating. What I was advising was to temper your expectations on what is likely to happen. There is a subtle but important difference between expectations on what the other person will do (not in your control) and expectations on what the other person needs to do (in your control).

Once you set expectations on what the other person needs to do, vet them carefully before you invest in a relationship. Slow down the process and see if they are willing to commit emotionally before things escalate sexually. Keep your eyes open to see if they meet your expectations. Don't judge too quickly but don't invest into the relationship till you are confident they make the cut. This may mean many guys will get screened out by you or more likely they will disengage themselves but recognize that is a good thing. If you are not invested, then it should be water off your back when they ghost you. On the flip side you may feel a greater sense of rejection since you are likely to go through longer periods of time without a new relationship and the hope that it brings. Recognize that this is not a reason to despair and fall back on the GAL in your life (you have plenty, so that is not a problem) to distract you from the despair. Your quantity of dates and potential relationships will be a lot less but the quality will be likely higher. Since you are looking for a serious long term partner, you are looking to find only one good guy. If you have $100, you can buy multiple bottles of cheap wine or a couple of bottles of really good wine. If your objective is to drink just one glass of wine, you will be better off taking your chances on fewer bottles of expensive wine. Sure, you may get lucky with a cheap wine that tastes as good but the odds are you will have to sample a lot of glasses and may still not find one that is great. So recognize that playing the numbers game is not necessarily helpful given what you are looking for.

Sadly, the last guy I was committed to, even when we were committed, expected me to fit into his life.

Learn from this experience. If there is a mismatch in the effort you are putting in versus what he puts in, you will end up hurt. Make them earn room in your life just as you strive to earn room in theirs. Doesn't mean you dump them immediately but don't invest more till they match your level of investment. If you give it sufficient time and they don't measure up, move on.

You are a catch that will make some guy very happy. Keep your standards high and be patient. Know that you have a great life whether some guy is lucky enough to share it with you or not.