So the last few days my W has surprised me. She actually attempted to get up early to help me. Has been much more kind and bubbly and is even talking of the kind of Christmas presents she wants to get me (or would if we had the money - which reflects her awareness of our finances as well).
But tonight, out of nowhere after dinner, she sort of blurted out “so I’ve been all over the place lately. I’ve been dipping into and out of deep depression. That exchange (her wondering if I’m seeing a lawyer) left me not knowing what our future holds. It left me sad and scared and lost. I don’t k ow what’s going on between us other than that it’s awkward and sad.”
That caught me offguard. I said “well first things, it makes me very sad to hear you’re so depressed and upset. And as to what ‘this’ is, what do you want it to be?”
So then she hardened and said “well I know I’m never going to be able to give you what you want in a marriage (sex) because that’s not who I am. And I know you need that. So I assume that leaves us eventually splitting up.”
I didn’t know where to take it, so I just validated back. “So I understand that that’s a hard line for you, and since it is you assume our family eventually has to dissolve. Is that right?”
And she responded, “do you see any other way?” And went out for a bit.
So yeah… I’m not sure what’s going on. She’s showing a lot of awareness. But still the hardline stance - and I still strongly believe (but not completely) that she is not asexual.
