Ginger, Your problem is not that nice guys are not attracted to you. The problem is that the guys that you are attracted to are not nice or don't see a spark in you.
Have you given any thought to whether there is a disconnect between the kind of person you are attracted to VS the kind of person you want to have a relationship with?
If we are talking in terms of OLD, I don’t have much to go by. I look for profiles that are humble, not self absorbed, and seems like a nice normal dude looking to for real date. I swipe left on any pictures that involve gym selfies and flexing in the mirror because it looks like they are so self absorbed. When it comes to convo, having a normal exH ache about work, life kids, hobbies, etc. that might happen for a day and then out of left field comes the sexual stuff.
I swear, don’t only date hot men who make a high 6 figure salary and feel like they will get what they ask for.
Actually, on the contrary, I’ve been told I date “below “ my league. Looks and career wise ( I don’t believe in leagues, generally, I believe in people as individuals)
Maybe this is the problem? They just go and shoot their shot ? I dunno.
I am definitely attracted to guys with drive, self confidence but not cockiness, ( I hate big egos) someone funny and and empathetic and strong yet vulnerable.
Haven’t found it yet.
As far as me, I have a confidence, not a cockiness, I don’t water myself down anymore like I used to. I used diminish the good in myself. I accept compliments now and thank people for them. I am , not as vulnerable as I used to be.
I think the biggest disconnect with the men I am attracting are where they are in life. They are maybe 1-2 years divorced. I broke my rules and dated a brand new divorced guy. He was probably the most awesome guy, but couldn’t commit to a dam date.
I have dated non married men without kids and then guys divorced for a much shorter period of time, but married way longer than I was. I feel like I haven’t been in an equal headspace with anyone. I feel disconnected I guess.
