I am proud of you my friend. You are walking a most wonderful and enlightened path. Compassionate and forgiving. I can see how at peace you are. I am very happy you are receiving so many answers, from H and yourself. Unless I miss the mark, you are about to discover a whole lot more answers from the latter (yourself).
Our deep answers come when we are most at peace.D
I can't agree more with this statement. I'm mostly surprised about my own path and the answers I found the past days. I think the fact he is around now shows me aspects I could not see when he wasn't there. Then I had assumptions, now I actually embrace them.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Remember, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. H is admitting things to you, which is actually admitting it to himself. This is an awakening. Hopefully, it will endure and H can continue its path. Now, his hurt and anger turns inward. And anger turned inward becomes depression. As deep and dark a depression as you had, times it by two or four or maybe more. A MLCers depression matches the depth of their crisis. As H works through his depression; and he will if he has the strength and not too much external pressure; he will withdrawal. He will withdrawal from everyone and everything. From the world. He is now in a fight with himself. This is probably the most critical time in recovery. A MLCer has to walk this dark lonely path. When they emerge, they will be different. A grown up person, still timid, ashamed, guilty, and such; yet matured. They will roll up their sleeves and go about repairing their lives and those around them.D
Just out of curiousity, where would you place him currently? There is nothing of the extreme going on anymore at the moment. That's why it seems out of the normal. I would think he had an awakening but is still in replay, but this doesn't seem to match his actions.
He is even an nice H at the moment. I've never seen him so calm. Calm to the children and to me, also very helpful. It's like our roles have been reversed. I used to be the pleaser, the follower, also the woman who ran the household, he almost didn't have to do anything. He was the man who lived for work, the biggest money provider. He is back home since last week and now I come home from work, groceries have been done, he is preparing dinner, cleaning up, making tea in the evening, folding the laundry, etc.
I've never seen him do this in all our lives.
Understanding the mind of an MLC'er, what a challenge...
