It's wonderful that you checked in. I'm sorry the PTSD is giving you h3ll right now. Hang in there. Happiest of Holidays to you!
Just out of curiosity have you ever read "The Body Keeps Score" I think it might be a good read for you. Your body remembers those dates and will react as it sees fit regardless of how conscious of it your are or not. A lot of really bad things have happened to me in January. Every year my depression gets bad around that time regardless of my vitamin D or my meds. I thought it was an increase in SAS for a long time. Until I realized it wasn't. It was my body anticipating something bad happening/reliving bad things happening like a haunted house.
Make sure to be kind to yourself right now. You deserve it. Wishing you the best IW.
