Filling in those silent awkward spaces can be challenging in the beginning. Lots been already but here's what I did in the first few years when it came to teacher/parent conferences.
The kids would come with us and hang out in the back doing coloring or reading while we had the chat with the teacher. When we were done, kids would walk out with us and go with whichever parent had them for the night. This way, I could just talk to them for the 30 seconds walking out of the school, and then exchange a 'bye' with exW at the end.
The times when we had to be by ourselves, we'd exchange pleasantries and just let the silence happen. I got pretty comfortable with silence so it didn't bother me. If it bothered her, I dunno. I didn't really care to know. I just wanted to have the least amount of convo because she was always angry, or at least radiated a lot of anger. I didn't want to be her punching bag.
She's only softened this year and so we can have some basic conversation. But I still keep it about the kids and scheduling. any niceties on her part, I just reply with 'thanks'. keep it very short. I prefer to keep her on the periphery of my life and she only knows things if she needs to know them because it affects our parenting schedule - like if I need to switch days and vice versa. I don't see the need for anything more. I still believe in as much NC and being dark as possible - mostly for my own sanity and sustaining the work I've done to move ahead in my life.
I'm not into the whole blended families nonsense either - why go back in to a dynamic that you were fired from. And I don't mean it from an angry point of view, but I don't see any benefit in going beyond what's needed.
