It sounds like depression. A pretty common thing for one in emotional turmoil. Confusion and depression are ever present within them.
If she is indeed struggling with her inner demons a lack of sleep is very likely. Although the weekend does sound more rebellious based; 5-7 hours sleeping in is quite a bit. Is she actually sleeping or more laying there?
Originally Posted by Hoch
have repeatedly stated that this is unfair and unkind. It is also disrespectful. However, I don’t know how to handle this sort of direct - indirect? - disrespect. I can’t MAKE her get up. But it is a significant issue. Thoughts?
I want to proceed with kindness and respect, but mostly kindness for myself and respect of my own time.
You might as well cease repeating how unfair it all is. First, she’s heard it several times and it is having no affect. Second, if she is rebelling, then she is winning. And you keep letting her know it. And third, you are increasing its significance to her and to yourself.
Flip it 180 degrees. No telling her anymore. Besides actions speak much louder than words.
It is true, you cannot make her get up. You can only control you.
You have loving sons ages 3 and 6. The three of you are all to yourselves. Have some fun. And have some breaks. I know they are active boys. Let them rip around for a bit. Then have a more sit down activity like colouring or reading or such. Where you can get a bit of a break.
About the only boundary you can have is to just do your thing. Don’t wait on W. Focus on you and the boys and live your lives. Make plans and go out. Let her know, and invite her to join you all, the day before. The day of, if she’s sleeping in, oh well, her loss.
Be authentic and respect yourself. Enjoy your sons in their early years, for they grow up far too fast.
I would suspect laying around for hours will run its course. And sooner if not reinforced. Let her be. The less focus she gets, the more likely she will emerge on weekends like she does on weekdays.
This falls into the idea of positive reinforcement for positive behaviours and just ignoring negative ones. Like dog training. Negative reinforcement does not modify behaviour over the long term; certainly not in a positive direction.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
