I empathize with your situation and having to carry the financial load when it comes to your kids needing help. I just had to buy SD21 a new bed. Her mom can't afford it and even if she asked her dad, she knows he would say no. Not that she asked me...she just told me that the bed she had did not fit into her room at her new place. I know she can't afford a new one though so there really wasn't another option. I would do the same for S13 and D13 if they were her age and in the same situation but at least in their case, their dad would maybe pay for half. I didn't even bother asking him. He's well aware that when she needs financial help, I'm the person that helps her and has never offered to help me out with that in the past. The fact that she isn't on speaking terms with him currently, gives him a free pass in his mind to not have anything to do with her. I'm sure she will be forgotten on her birthday (turns 22 on Sunday) and Christmas this year as well.
Hopefully you get the homecare issues sorted soon. (((HUGS)))
