I don't know you and I'm truly not claiming to-- I'm just sharing what I have observed through this forum. Maybe you're the perfect husband and father and colleague IRL and just arrogant and combative online, and your wife is just going through something that has nothing to do with you. That could be. I was just asking you questions for you to consider for yourself. This is all internal work that needs to be done, whether you belong here or not, whether your W is truly on her way out or simply taking a break and focusing on herself. I do think it is important for everyone in the LBS position to be honest with themselves about what is happening and focus on their own healing (and ideally growth).
Also, IMHO you didn't actually consider any of the questions I posed to you but instead picked on all the things you disagree with whether I wrote them to you or someone else did. It would be frustrating if I cared. I can imagine arguing with you as a spouse would be exhausting. I do have a different perspective than some others here and am not trying to defend their specific advice.
In the end, the facts remain that your W had an affair and moved out because she's so angry with you. Is that right? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to understand why you're so resistant to seeing any similarities between your own situation and that of others. For me, knowing that there were others going through what I was going through was incredibly helpful.
Best of luck, May
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
