My daughter came down and ate breakfast so I asked her to wake up her brother to decorate the tree. She said she didn’t want to decorate the tree because she had to do it at her moms today. So I said “lucky you that you get to do it twice”. She ran up the stairs crying. I gave her some time and went to her room. She said she’s sick of doing everything twice. She’s sick of having two houses.
Originally Posted by BL42
LH - That's a tough situation with your daughter and the holidays. My kids are young and enjoying the extra activities for now, but I can see a point in the future when they're older where they're tired of (or even resent) the double effort. One of the suggestions I've read on here is don't worry about the specific day as much as spending time with your kids (E.g., birthday or holiday observed). Similarly, I wonder in the future instead of decorating the tree twice let them do that with ExW and create a fun activity (E.g., water park) tradition with them instead. I may consider that approach in the future if I ever encounter that push back with my kids.
Hi LH,
Wow--11yrs divorced and never ran into that one. Then again, my kids have never had to do anything twice for the holidays ala BL42's idea. Most holidays have so many activities to choose from! I do whatever they haven't already done. E.g., for Halloween there's: (1) Trick or Treating, (2) Getting a costume, (3) Getting/carving a Jack-o-Lantern, (4) Corn mazes, (5) Halloween parties, (6) Haunted houses, (7) Scary movies, (8) Decorating the house, etc. Over time, the activities you prioritize and have fun doing tend to become your traditions and your kids will prefer to do them with you. I'm sorry your daughter is struggling with two households. Just some ideas to help her adjust!
