I think there's a difference in outcomes between the folks that end up reading the posts here, the folks that post for a bit and disappear, and the folks that end up posting long threads and keep posting for years. There are probably more reconciliations among the former two groups than the latter group. So, in judging the methods and advice here, I think that it is important to keep in mind what happens to those other groups as well as what happens for the regular posters. While I did not succeed in saving my marriage, I'm pretty that there are others who could save their marriages if they followed my path.
But when this approach doesn't succeed in saving a marriage, I don't know if there's anything else that would make a difference. I certainly never thought of anything else to try.
As for advice on how to survive a divorce, I certainly hope that people don't need that advice and that they can save their marriage. But if you do need that advice and I certainly did, the advice and the posters here are absolutely precious. The folks here saved me from so much emotional anguish, I'll be forever grateful.
Just remember, that the posters here understand what you're feeling, what you're going through, and are trying to help you.
In the end, you'll come to understand much of what drives the advice and to see that things you thought were wrong were actually right.
The only advice I question is Steve's opinion on how many wayward spouses want to reconcile. (Sorry, Steve). But maybe, I'm just in the 10%.
-Spiral
The advice here works 100% of the time, the statement might be though what does "works" mean?
It means that you can save yourself. Until you do that their is no hope that you can save your marriage.
Only happy and healthy people can be in a successful relationship and marriage. So your mission is to become that person because you are the only person that you can control.
After you become that person then you can make further decisions in regards to your marriage and relationship. Of course you need your partner to be the same as YOU.
