I seriously can't wait for my counselling tomorrow. Just had to sit through a suicide and self harm presentation at work and it absolutely triggered me.
I did have thoughts earlier in the year and was welfare checked by police twice. No thoughts now though.
On top of this it brought back memories of seeing my father hanging from a rope in our backyard. He had no pulse and wasn't breathing for 15 minutes whilst I worked on him until I brought him back. He is still alive today.
You need more help than what anyone on this board can give. You bare minimum have a drinking problem that’s more excessive than you admit to yourself, or at worst you have unchecked PTSD. 15 minutes with no oxygen sounded…like a lot to me. A quick google search is as follows
“At five minutes, death becomes imminent. At 10 minutes, even if the brain remains alive, a coma and lasting brain damage are almost inevitable. At 15 minutes, survival becomes nearly impossible”
I don’t want to be insensitive but at best you are drunk posting, and again, at worst are exaggerating to gain sympathy from strangers you don’t know.
If you are in group therapy for drinking as you have said I’m gonna assume it’s AA. It’s a good group. But something tells me at best you are lying to the group about your slip ups, at worst you are drinking with absolutely no one to help hold you accountable.
I’m just going to say this, and I could be out of line, but here it is.
If you are telling the truth about at least half of this, you really should consider bare minimum intensive outpatient therapy and allow your wife to have your adult children and grandchildren. You are in no shape to be the best you or a safe you to properly be around your kids or grand kids in a healthy way.
I’m not gonna post anymore on your thread. This is way above my pay grade, or you are trolling, or you have mental issues that requires immediate professional help.
If you are being honest, for the love of yourself, your kids, and grand kids, go get some real help
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
