Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable image. I can imagine your session at work would be triggering for you. Absolutely NO child should have to experience what you did, whether you were 12 or 22 at the time. But also know that suicide, or suicide attempts, are not the only path to getting the help you need.
A friend of mine, during a very dark moment I was enduring, asked me what the h3ll I was waiting for in not getting the help and support I needed. I was in 2 x a month therapy and she said 'that's not enough for you right now. Do you need permission? Do you need money? Because I will start a GoFundMe page right now for you if that's what you need.'
I realized that I needed someone to give me permission (money would have been helpful, but what is a life worth? I will make the money back in the future, but my mental health is worth so much more, so are my children).
If you are in a similar position, may I give you permission to get as much therapy, support, help as you need right now? Can you be selfish and say 'yes, I might need 2 x a week, not 2 x a month at the moment?' It won't last forever. But please give yourself permission (or let me give it to you) to not be in a position where you 'can't wait for your counseling session tomorrow' and get you to a place where you are wondering if you even have enough to talk about in your twice-weekly sessions?
