4 months after BD

[BL42]

Galaga,

when I have defriended her on Facebook she messages straight away asking why.

Been doing so well but this week just felt like crap due to her getting more gear from the house and removing her "married" status on Facebook.

Why are you following her facebook page?

Thought you defriended her on Facebook awhile back? Did you connect with her again, or are you just checking her page without being officially "friends"?

I distinctly remember the night my now ExW changed her profile pic (which had been our family) and removed her "married" relationship status on Facebook. It was late and I was on the couch by myself with the kids in bed and she was "working late" and having the affair. At the time I was pretty devastated and it really set me back, but I was acting scared and fearful of losing my family. Flash forward a few months and not only defriended her but actually blocked her as well as her family and associated affair people. I don't give it a second thought anymore. The worst (in my mind) has already happened and I'm doing well despite it. No need for me to worry about her social media any more...

But I have got drunk twice this week to hide from [censored].
One of the reasons she said she left. I've been so good since BD and didn't want to but this week just everything has crushed me....

Everyone slips, but really put an effort into stopping the alcohol abuse. Not only is it a 180 your wife was concerned about, but as SteveLW says it'll hurt your ability to DB.

Got a message from her this morning asking if it was OK for her to come and visit boys (19 and 22) and grandchildren?

This is a tough one with your kids and grandkid living with you, and her potentially still having rights to the house? Not sure how I'd handle it. Maybe others have suggestions. Obviously would be better for the kids/grandkid to visit her as opposed to her coming over. Or maybe if she does come over you duck out to GAL?