Sometimes, if I'm being honest, my frustration seeps through when I'm with them but mostly not.
I’ve been there. The frustration was so maddening, and at times so ceaseless, it was difficult to keep it separate.
Another part of that survive/thrive mindset we are talking about:
You make yourself feel. No one else does. You control you.
It’s casting off of self-imposed shackles; not ignoring them.
Your feelings regarding OM2 are perfectly normal. Altering pickup and drop off arrangements to limit seeing or interacting with him is not the answer. (Alter arrangements for kids’ betterment - Yes. Alter so you don’t need to deal with OM2 feelings - No.)
OM2 triggers feelings within you. Your feelings within you. He doesn’t cause the feelings, they are already there. He doesn’t even stir them up to the surface, you do that too. Your feelings are you, and you do not want to ignore yourself.
I found my frustration and hurt and such - I dragged around with me. Sure I could ignore, for a while, and then they’d rise again. See it was me, not XW or OM. And I, am always close by to me.
Indifference, letting go, ego, acceptance, forgiveness - different facets all working together. The goal is to face your situation and become healed and healthy and strong and confident, so it no longer hurts. You control you. You influence you.
In my view, you are doing quite well. A good ways along that path. Continue working through your feelings regarding OM2 and let them go. Rationalize your triggers and responses.
Understand and discover that your emotions are within you. They are born from deep within your irrational self. They are fleeting. They change. They cannot be directly control. They can be influenced.
Mental assertiveness. We utilize our logic and reason to alter and influence our emotional state. This same mental exercise slowly alters our beliefs as well.
Beliefs and convictions are excellent headings for life. They influence everything within us. Strengthen beliefs that serve you, craft those you aspire to, and alter or discard those that do not serve.
You do that, and you’ll have no need to alter pickup times or anything just because OM2 is around.
Peace and contentment. Believe it.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
