It is 100% clear now that I was, in her eyes, irrelevant and subhuman during this entire ordeal. I meant absolutely nothing at all-- just an obstacle
That is her view. One she needed to fabricate and perpetuate.
Do not make it part of yourself. It is her view, not your’s! Nor mine!
Her indifference and treatment towards you speaks about her. Not you! That’s a difficult poison not to drink. And in truth we all drink it. The really path is transmuting the poison we’ve already ingested.
Realize she absolutely needs to make you into the bad guy. Her comment “If I had any reservations before, your behaviour during all of this has cemented it” is her projecting her faults upon you. Her crafting a reality that unjustly justifies what she’s done. Her mind is a confused mess. She is driven by her emotions.
Again, her actions are her’s. She is accountable not you.
Affairs are staggeringly common. As is blaming their loving partner. Do not read too much into her behaviour or communication. Her poisonous words are just that - words. Believe nothing they say and only half of what they do.
As you continue discovering just how messed up this all was, be gentle on yourself. Define LeeChild as LeeChild truly is and not as your XW says. Let go. Rise above. And become the man you are to become.
There is a wonderful opportunity amidst all this horrible situation. With time and effort you can realize some incredible truths. Keep walking the good path, one small step at a time.
The forest will be seen as trees in time. And you will see beyond the forest, to the meadow, the ocean, the mountains, and the vast and beautiful life in front of you.
One step at a time my friend.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
