However, in our situation we started to use Talking Parents app for communications after it got so bad that we got a restraining order against XW/Bio Mom. This was written into the new parenting agreement so she legally agreed to it, if we dropped the restraining order, which we did. So maybe you can work it into your divorce/parenting agreements as well?
There is a paid and a free version and this app isn't complicated (you can go deep with Family Wizard if you want something more robust for expenses, etc). We used the paid version and she stuck with the free one. Expenses were handled on a google doc, but records of it were posted via TP. What did help with is with the XW knowing that all convos can be used in court and are in a written record. So, she quickly behaved herself and the games ended. As part of the agreement she was to no longer text either of us or email either of us directly (outside of the app) unless it was an emergency. Using Talking Parents to communicate eliminated all the drama pretty quickly.
It allowed us to "go dark" yet still coparent effectively. And every time she played games with expenses, we pulled the lawyers in. Yeah, it was a total waste of money to do that, but standing our ground just a few times made her realize we were done with the games and it was going to cost her money as well to play the games.
Sending hugs to you.
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
