This is very true. I might be able to handle it better if my situation was a lot better. Not an excuse I am just mentally exhausted and spent. You are so right, I just want so bad for her to remember all the fun we had together. So, I try to get her to see that, but listening to all of you i see it's counterproductive with my approach. Honestly, I am so scared if I didn't defend myself that I would look like this monster in the therapists eyes.
It is NOT your job to work the therapist. It is your job to listen and engage with the therapist and to try and listen and engage with your daughter under the direction of the therapist. If you have a good therapist, it is not his or her place to judge whether or not you are a monster and that kind of seems like an excuse to continue to try to prove you are right by defending yourself. Let the therapist do their job and you just listen and validate. Drop the defensive posture and see if you make some headway.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
I think I said this last time, The therapist wrote a letter to my lawyer that she suspects parental alienation and she recommends forensic psychologist. That's the other thing that is really bothering me. Mom in brainwashing my d and it's taking forever to get forensics. Forensics will show alienation and then I can get the appropriate therapist for my daughter. There is a nationally renowned therapist 15 minutes away (who has wrote books about this and spoken around the nation) from me that I could get my daughter to go to, to get her the appropriate therapy.
Yes, you have said that before...several times in fact. Things will move however fast the therapist and courts push them to move, so what you can do in the meantime is do your best to just be stable and keep showing up for your d and listen and validate. Of course it is mentally and physically exhausting! It feels that way for you, think about how it feels for your d, who is being pulled in 2 very different directions. She wants to please both of you but she's in the middle so she's lashing out. It's a tough situation for all of you for sure.
Originally Posted by LH19
Argumentative people are exhausting Wolf. Time to make some changes even if you have to eat some $hit sandwiches.
SO. MUCH. THIS! I totally agree with LH. You are going to have to put your big boy pants on and suck it up, buttercup and adult your way out of this one. Arguing about being right or trying to convince d to see things from your perspective is about as beneficial as repeatedly bashing your forehead into a brick wall.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
