Well, I guess I appreciate you guys sticking around other than others who took their ball and ran home.


I'm inclined to follow what May22 says. To put it bluntly, she's a woman and I think many guys don't know jack about women.

I know everyone things their situation is different, but I have to reiterate. 1) I don't believe there is an ongoing affair (obviously you guys do...and have made that very clear) The OP is from 2 years ago. And he was never a long term person NEVER. But I can't tell you why because it involves a dynamic that creates some exposure to all parties (not me)

If I was "rewarding her for having an affair" then that ship has sailed because I stuck with her after I found out. 2 months after the communications ceased. And I will note...the last communications were not of a sexual nature but more because of the dynamic. Again this is a public board with a public forum.

so I'll make a deal with you guys. I'm a big boy, I know what it means if I'm wrong. If I am I will be first to eat crow, but I'd rather just deal with what I'm going through in front of me. Thanks.

But it wasn't just one OP that got us to where we are. That much is true.


I had my IC today and I had kind of an epiphany on the way I was approaching things with my W. It was interesting. I also told here I want to work on empathy (someone said that I shouldn't but that is a 180 for me and it applies across all my life) I want to work on giving people the benefit the doubt. I know we can't promote other resources here, but giving the benefit of the doubt is a key component of one of the leading researching on making marriages work.

I also want to work on any anger issues I have. I could be quick to anger on perceived slights.


I also want to make any changes for myself and my kids. Not to win anyone back. honestly, if it's not genuine, it's pure manipulation and I don't care if MWD encourages it, it's dishonest. (I really don't think she does)

I think it's a fantasy of many LBSers to want their spouse to BEG them to come back, I don't want my wife to beg to come back anymore than this board encourages LBS's to beg their WAH or WAWs to come back.

may22.

I do think some of her anger is valid, but much of it is for things that happened in the past and I can't change that.


Surprise - She wanted to come over today to help me with the treadmill. She asked twice. But I politely and clearly decline saying. We would see her tomorrow.


R2C don't give up on me yet. I really don't think your last post was supportive at all.