Wolfman moving forward2

[Wolfman]

I agree KML, but I think it’s seriously being exacerbated around the situation going on with her baby daddy. I don’t think it’s all irrational. I’m pretty sure she is scared as sh!t

Unfortunately, things going on around me definitely don’t help the situation, at all.

CW you are right I have trouble figuring out when and how to use validation. Thank you for the 3 case examples. I am trying, I not I am not doing well with the validation, I will continue using to work on that.

You truly believe that it’s post partum depression? If so, I how do I say that to her without upsetting her. She is a very sensitive person.

It sounds like bad postpartum anxiety which can overlap with postpartum depression and sometimes progress to OCD or, rarely, psychosis. You might try speaking with her physician first - they cannot tell you things about her without her permission, but you CAN tell them what you're seeing and your concerns about it. You can also try gently mentioning to her that you think she may be experiencing some postpartum issues and perhaps she could speak to her doctor about it? Of course, telling women their hormones are off is dangerous ground for a man! Does she have a sister or mom that you could approach about this? Maybe coming from another woman she could hear it better? I have a good friend who had such bad postpartum anxiety that she never wanted to have another child. She was terrified she might accidentally hurt her child, or something awful might happen. I never knew the depths of her disordered thinking at that time until recently - this occurred 30 years ago.

Second can you give me and example. How should I respond to say something like this?
“Dad I have always been afraid of you and I never wanted to be with you.”

I'm so sorry you felt that way. I love you with all my heart and I never wanted anything but your happiness and safety. "

Ugh. What else can I stack on my plate?? When does this end? I am just so mentally exhausted. I will take your advice and get her help. Unfortunately she is not close to her mom or sister. So I can’t use them. I am on my own with this. This should be real fun. I need to get this taken care of. She is having a hard time with having to move the baby to his own room and in his crib because he is starting to outgrow the bassinet and it’s in our room. I am trying to validate and understand it’s hard for her to separate. Thank you for the example how to answer my daughter. Still have a lot of work in that area.

Sorry I have to run again. I’ll be back on shortly. Thank you everyone. LH. I will give an example when I come back.