I am certainly not going to sit back when someone attacks my character.
Why? I related recently an incident where I slowly convinced someone who was drunk to NOT drive home, and simultaneously a guy with anger issues followed us shouting and cursing. I didn't particularly care what he thought of me or the drunk--all he was to me was a potential threat to be aware of and possibly neutralize if he became physically aggressive. One's quickness to engage is distinct from one's ability to engage--consider the teachings of martial arts masters. What causes you to engage? Arguing with Mr. Anger Issues wasn't likely to change his opinion. Getting into a verbal or physical altercation wasn't likely to improve any of our lives. How has "not sitting back" served you? Like many defense mechanisms, maybe you needed that behavior at some point in your life. You can leave behind behaviors that no longer serve you.
