Your W is staying at her parents. In 2 weeks you don't need to rotate who's in the home and you shouldn't. No you can't legally kick her out but she left. She wants to leave so now she needs to deal with it. And if that means setting up camp at her parents semi-permanently so be it. You don't have to nest #1 and #2 if you start leaving the house every other week what do you think is going to happen? You think she's just going to sit there and pine for her old life while you bang your way through a f**k it list? She will not and unless you want people you're unfamiliar with around your kids or guys playing a little game of slap and tickle with your W in your marital bed I strongly suggest you tell you're wife nesting isn't happening. She's at her parents now she better settle in.
Next, you don't get to chase tail because your W said it's over. Let me rephrase that....You're welcome to chase all the tail you'd like since your W said it's over but don't anticipate that it won't come back to bite you in the a$$ multiple times in all kinds of fun ways:
- You are not in healthy mental or emotional place to be playing with other people's emotions and hearts. It is cruel to play with people like that.
- Sex and dating is a distraction from the real work you need to do heal from this. While I understand the allure it's no different than your W self medicating with booze. If you need me to elaborate on that I can, but it should be pretty straight forward.
- Right now you have an immense amount on your plate divorcing and getting your kids into a new routine that is a second full time job. For a good chunk of time in the near future. If you aren't focusing all your energy on self care and your children that means you are robbing your children of time, and yourself.
- I doubt anyone would believe you that you really wanted this marriage to work if you pursue other women before the ink is dry on your decree. If you couldn't care less about other's opinions including that of your family, friends and co-workers by all means go ahead.
That's just to name a few.
Seriously though, have you guys even filed yet? Because if you haven't even filed yet the fact that we're even having this conversation is absurd. You are still married in every sense. This isn't Michael Scott declaring 'bankruptcy' in The Office. You don't just say it and it happens. Actual steps need to be taken to create a dissolution of your marriage including separating your finances, your things, creating placement schedules, FILING, recalibrating your entire life to the new normal.
Costanza, if you truly believe you find yourself, you heal yourself, and move on to the next phase in your life between the thighs of a woman you have so, so, so much work to do before you should be allowed anywhere near the dating pool. You need a new therapist. Desperately. You need to do a brutally honest inventory of yourself, and you need to find a therapist who isn't just a validation bot, who can help guide you with that. You need to realize you are just as broken as that W of yours, and you will only attract other broken people or worse be the one who breaks them.
