[/quote]man, I am not doing great today. I just don't understand how we ended up here. I don't understand how she can effectively abandon our kids and then go silent. I just want to stop hurting.[/quote]
I sure do remember those days distinctly, and I can recall typing that same sentence out almost word for word several times on this board early on in my sitch. It feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from.
The others are correct, you will get past this but it will take time and lots of it.
Something LH says and I absolutely agree with is this... the fastest way to get your WW back is a straight line in the opposite direction.
In other words, your goal should be to make her feel like you are the one dumping her. How do you accomplish this? By getting better in every aspect of your life. Get in the gym and crush your goals. Kill it at work. Eat healthy and meditate. Improve your relationship with your kids. Travel and push yourself outside your comfort zone. Break free from any addictions you might have.
If if you can do those things I've listed above, your W might wonder why in the hell she left a man like you to go live in an apartment, and date men with low integrity who have no issue dating a married woman.
You want to appear like you have had some big epiphany, and that you realize it was her all along that was keeping you from finding YOUR happiness. Now... you don't want to act like some cocky a-hole, but more like someone who is relishing being single and growing into a better version of themselves. Make sense?
I promise a day will come when you will once again smile, and you will realize that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps this will make your marriage stronger one day? Or perhaps you will meet someone much better than your WW and fall in love all over again? Regardless, this is but one chapter in your life, and your story isn't over.
