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[LH19]

[quote=LH19]For now Mac I would table the things you need from her and focus on you and the kids.

You want to give her as much space as possible right now.

That is one of her main complaints that I don't do that. I can't tell if it's a 180 to do that or not.

I want to clarify, her main complaint is you give her too much space?

Well it happened. She left last night to go to her new apt. it was not unexpected but it was difficult.

M it is understandably difficult and I am sorry you are going through this right now.

She initially only brought enough clothes for a few days while we figure out logistics. Normally, I'd try to read into this...but not this time.

Nothing to see here. The gun just went off for the marathon.

We had a small talk before she left. She said this was very hard on her. I said that I understand that it must be really hard to feel like you have to make that decision.

So this is where you have to be careful. Your response can be construed as a guilt trip. A better response is "I understand this is difficult on you". No implying this is her decision.

I didn't agree or disagree just basically said that I want the best outcome(I don't know if this was the right thing to say)

Depends. What if she thinks the best outcome is divorce?

There was no begging, no pleading. I was very calm and collected. But it stung like a B.

Good. Yeah it's tough.

I really wanted to text her later in the night but resisted and she didn't reach out to me. So it begins.

Contacting her and pursuing her is the same challenge people face if they're trying to quit smoking and sitting in front of a table covered in cigarettes. It's just so easy to do. You know you shouldn't, you know it isn't good for you, but you want to *so badly* that you can convince yourself that it's okay to pursue.

That's what the "my giving her space is allowing her to get over me" argument really is, it's your brain trying to convince you that it's okay to pursue her because that's what you really, really, really want to do.

I didn't sleep well and my mind raced. I felt like all the worst stuff was happening. Like she immediately hooked up with some rando.

Highly doubt that's the case. You will experience catastrophic thinking for awhile.

She wants me to come over to see the place tonight. I don't know how I feel about that.

I would politely decline and tell her you have plans.

It [censored] because I want to try to stay positive, but everyone says don't focus on that.

Who is telling you not to stay positive?

Instead focus on yourself. I can only distract myself so much.

Kids, gym, walks, runs, hobbies, friends, family, NETFLIX, volunteer the list goes on and on.