New here.

[BL42]

McRamone,

Well it happened. She left last night to go to her new apt. it was not unexpected but it was difficult.

Sorry man. That's tough. Even though you know it's coming, it's hard.

She said this was very hard on her.

It probably was. My ExW made it seem easy at times, whereas I was visably struggling, but then I'd get insights here that it was a lot tougher on her than she showed. Didn't change the result for me/us, but I don't know maybe there's a bit of solace knowing it's not so easy on the other end either.

I said that I understand that it must be really hard to feel like you have to make that decision. She reiterated that she loved me and though this would help a lot. I didn't agree or disagree just basically said that I want the best outcome(I don't know if this was the right thing to say)

There was no begging, no pleading. I was very calm and collected. But it stung like a B.

Sounds like you handled it fairly well considering. Stayed fairly strong on the outside, even if it hurt underneath.

I really wanted to text her later in the night but resisted and she didn't reach out to me. So it begins.

Good job resisting. Keep it up. If you reach out you'll attach a glimmer of hope to it and then come down when you don't get the response you want.

I didn't sleep well and my mind raced. I felt like all the worst stuff was happening. Like she immediately hooked up with some rando.

That's understandable. It'll get better over time.

Hate to say this, but it's quite possible it won't be some rando and it's the guy you knew about before or some other person she has waiting in the wings. Some here will say don't snoop, or at least stop snooping when you find evidence of and affair. I don't know the laws where you are, but have you thought about a PI or some sort of proof to see if there's an active affair?

She wants me to come over to see the place tonight. I don't know how I feel about that.

I wouldn't. Will that help your detachment? It's not your responsibility to make her feel better/comfortable with leaving you.

It [censored] because I want to try to stay positive, but everyone says don't focus on that. Instead focus on yourself. I can only distract myself so much.

Easier said than done, but yes...focus on yourself and the kids as much as possible. Doing GAL/getting active, which sounds like you do fairly well, will help keep your mind off it.

If your two sons are teens and your W plans to move out this week, have either or both of you communicated that to them? If so, what did you say and how did they react?

You said your W has a place...is she renting an apartment, staying with family/friends?

Your an L and have consulted with a family law L in town...what impacts do her moving out without a formal separation agreement have? Are your sons staying with you 100%, or going back and forth?

I asked you about your sons before but not sure you answered. How are they doing with all this? What's the plan there? I assume if she moved out you talked with them? Are they staying in the house, or swapping back and forth?