New here.

[LH19]

[quote=LH19]

So early on in my situation my ex and I separated for 3 months. We still went out on dates, had sex and she would talk about the future like fixing up the house etc. Looking back at it I can she was trying living alone on for size. We did get back together for a year and a half until om2 came along. I will say again you have a good chance here IMO but I get the impression from your posts that you are clingy and needy. Initially she is going to to enjoy being away from you and this could drag on for awhile. Again what you want is for her to not be sure where she stands with you.

How did you feel during thev3 months?

Like my entire world had been torn apart and I was about to lose everything I had worked for in life.

After?

The year and a half $ucked. I could tell she always had one foot out the door. My saving grace was I had my kids to focus on.

We’re you blind sided by OM2?

No. She wasn't very sly. My daughter's friend with the single good looking dad all of a sudden became her favorite of my daughter's friends.

Did you make changes during that time?

Yep. I followed the DB principles and was really good at it. Also read just about every book on attraction and relationship I could get my hands on.

Did she?

Oh she changed alright. Decided now was "her" time and she needed to do what was right for her.

Interesting on your observation about me being clingy and needy. We had this very discussion with put MC. She said I was the opposite of needy. I get that is one opinion and I’m not saying you are wrong.

So here is a quote directly from you in your thread. "So this created a bad dynamic. I was looking for reassurances in my love language (touch) did she wanted to be in a marriage that she still cared and she remorseful. She did that for a little bit but thought that I wasn’t responding to it so decided to not continue it. Then I’d get upset she was pulling away when I needed her more."

I think I do feel needy. One thing that was brought up in MC is my not asking for what I need. Like I wouldn’t ask my wife if she wanted to watch a movie, I wouldn’t ask my wife to put down her phone during a conversation, I wouldn’t ask her to take a walk Or wouldn’t necessarily initiate physical contact. I would instead get mad that she wouldn’t do those things on her own or know I needed them.

So this is interesting because you also quoted this in your thread when Steve suggest you had NGS. " I also disagree about me trying to please here. I do thing mostly because I want (for example I like cooking dinner for the boys and always have before this current mess) or need to. I read the Nice Guy book years ago. He has some good ideas but unfortunately it gets lost in his presentation. IMO Also. I have no trouble asking for what I need."

My wife and MC told me I need to ask for those things -explicitly. But now I feel if I do I be pathetic and it’s counter to the ideas here.

So what types of things do you want to ask her right now?