Its funny. Outside of the presence of my W. I am confident, carefree, etc. I went to the gym for spin then yoga. It was great. Then I get home and boom. Confidence is shot.
It’s funny. I hear everyone say “don’t believe what she says”. But she says stuff like ILY, I still find you attractive, I want to be married, I was happy with our marriage, I will do what you want if you just ask. It’s not the usual venom.
Some people have made comments on her betrayal. We’ve had talks about this. She says “it didn’t seem real, “it wasn’t real life,” “you are my real life and what’s important” “it wasn’t real feelings” etc. I know. I know. Just words. But hard to dismiss
Did anything besides the affair kill your confidence? Where you losing it prior to all this?
It is hard to dismiss it, but believe her actions over her words every time. My ex did the same thing while living with her paramour.
It’s possible she’s being genuine on some level. It’s also possible she’s keeping you on the line in case whatever plan she has doesn’t work out.
I also would look into your states laws about alimony. Here where I am, if you have an affair and leave you aren’t entitled to alimony. However if you even attempt to fix the marriage and than back out there’s an argument to be made the marriage failed for another reason and you could be on the hook for it. Just keep that in mind and look into whatever laws you need to, or ask your lawyer.
Please keep posting too. And feel free to maybe start journaling here too. Tells us more about you getting a life and enjoying yourself.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
