New here.

[BL42]

McRamone,

If your two sons are teens and your W plans to move out this week, have either or both of you communicated that to them? If so, what did you say and how did they react?

You said your W has a place...is she renting an apartment, staying with family/friends?

Your an L and have consulted with a family law L in town...what impacts do her moving out without a formal separation agreement have? Are your sons staying with you 100%, or going back and forth?

I am an L. My wife is a psychiatrist.

This will be interesting. We typically(99%) recommend getting legal advise and getting into IC.

I had the same thought.

But wouldn't the same also apply to parameters on living apart? I was not the one saying 3 months - she was.

That's ok. Just don't try to hold her to it. It it turns into 4,5,6 it doesn't matter because you are too busy kicking a$$ with life and figuring out what you want moving forward.

To me the thing about the "3 months" is your expectations, as you have absolutely no control over it. It's quite possible she's telling you "it's only 3 months" and "it's a separation, not a D" to soften the blow, and it's quite possible the 3 months turns into 6 month or a year or a D. To LH's point, make sure you're not hung up on the timeline sitting at home checking days off on a calendar and don't let it become a set back if after 3 months she says 6 months or D...go out and use that time to improve yourself and live life to its fullest.

This is already being done. I do yoga 2x week, I ride my bike 3Xweek, I’m getting my new treadmill soon. I to go IC. I have a couple of hobbies- cooking, collecting, etc. I go to concerts with friends (or myself). I am fully engaged with both sons (as much as the parent of teens can be.) Teaching my oldest how to drive (Watch out for that tree!)

This is all great stuff. It sounds like you're doing pretty well in this area already. Keep it up and put it in overdrive.

It does seem like your sitch is a bit different than others in that she was remorseful about the affair and may not be in a current one, you sound stronger than others and aren't begging and pleading, she's telling you she loves you and your family and just needs some space, she's pursuing MC and possibly dates(?). So I hope you're in a better situation than others. That said, lots of folks on here claim their sitch is different and then it isn't, so the key is to not pressure her and instead focus on you and your sons. Hope for the best but prep yourself for the worst.