You get lots of different advice on this board. Some people give cookie cutter advice based on MWD's book. I tend to give advice based on the situation. Your situations as I said seems to be different and your W doesn't have two feet out the door. That's why in your case IMO MC is a good idea as long as you feel she is working on repairing the marriage. If you sense she is just going through the motions to check the "we tried MC box" then its best to terminate the sessions.
Having said all that separation and affairs are typically a stepping stone to divorce so how you handle the separation IMO is going to be crucial. As for accepting dates I would say you should accept some and decline some stating you are sorry you have plans. You want her to wonder where you stand.
Relationship and attraction are about value. People who jump through hoops for you are not valuable and are therefore not attractive. You value people who are confident and self-sufficient, and that you feel you need to work to get. When you get attention from those people you feel good about yourself.
