That's ok. Just don't try to hold her to it. It it turns into 4,5,6 it doesn't matter because you are too busy kicking a$$ with life and figuring out what you want moving forward.
Again to reiterate, I said nothing when she said 3 months. Okay, I did say it might take longer but that was it.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
I think you should go to MC and observe, listen and validate. You will find out soon enough the following:
I read in a book once that people come to MC for a variety of reasons:
1) Trying to give the appearance that they "tried" when in fact they had already given up. This is public face-saving 2) Trying to help the other person come to terms with the fact that they have decided to leave 3) Trying to get a third party to validate that they are right and the other person is wrong 4) Trying to save their marriage by being willing to work on it.
They said that 95% of the time, one person is coming for reasons 1-3, and the other person is coming for reason 4. When only one person is in, MC has a 0% success rate.
It said that people usually come in about three years too late, when one party is already fully checked out.
It sounds like you're fully in this scenario where you're in group 4 and W is in some combination of groups 1-3. In that scenario, you have almost no chance of success with MC/
I should say we've been in MC for a couple months. My wife did not drop the Dbomb on me. She didn't tell me she's not in love with me. She told me repeatedly - she's loves me and our family, wants to have a great marriage and grow old together. She hasn't used our sessions to tell me she's leaving the marriage nor has she tried to say she was justified in what happened. (I know, I know don't believe what the say except when Sandi's rules tell you to)
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
IMO don't even discuss this. You are both free to do whatever you want while separated. She will lie anyways so don't even waste a breath on it.
Wow...just wow.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Your attitude should be I think this is a good idea because we BOTH need time to think about what we want moving forward.
This I need to do. Thanks for how to phrase it. But I don't know if she's going to believe a sudden [censored] in perspective when I've been saying the opposite.
