Originally Posted by McRamone
I know I'm on moderation and it's no fun
. Moderators are volunteers. Just be patient and keep posting. You will be off moderation soon.

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I am confused. Many people have said that I can't tell my wife not to move or or tell her to move out.
Both of these are attempting to control her behavior. Boundaries, I statements and actions are a better way for you to behave.

I can tell you to stop posting. How much control over you do I have? (That is an attempt at controlling you)
If I decide you are not worth my time, I can stop posting to you. (That is my boundary) I can state it to you, or I can just take the action and stop posting to you.

See the difference?


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But wouldn't the same also apply to parameters on living apart? I was not the one saying 3 months - she was.
Set her free. Do not agree to anything that controls you. RIGHT NOW, she needs time and space from you. Lovingly give it to her. Take this time alone to work on you. It is a gift. It is counter-intuitive, but you both need to experience this.


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Also, She did all her own legwork, got her own place, coordinate all her own everything. But it sounds I can't support her decision in any way? Especially when she's telling me what she needs. I only told her to let me know the financial implications because that is important to manage.
You have lots of choices on how to respond. I believe your best option is to enthusiastically support her, even though you do not think it is the best option.

She has to FEEL like she has lost you before anything is going to start getting better.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712