I don’t have any hang ups about married and dating—but I would at least settle your feelings about your XW first. I waited 4-6mo after being “100% done” with my last relationship before dating again. That way you know your decisions about giving up on the past relationship are not influenced by the new one and you aren’t masking baggage. Your post a week ago seems to indicate you are still attached to your XW and her feelings and choices.
I imagine it gets easier to let the feelings go once I am dating and focusing on other people, vice sitting at home and doing nothing.. A couple nights with this lady has definitely inspired my mind to go forward..
I double down on what Ginger said. This is not the right approach. It is like having your arm severed and trying to use a bandaid on the stump. Find that inner strength, peace and happiness. If you assume dating someone new will fix your woes you will end up in the same situation down the line.
One of the biggest learnings I took from my most recent situation was that a healthy couple requires two grounded, happy, self-fulfilled individuals. Anything else is an over-attachment, too much stock put into the relationship recipe for distaster. That's what happened in my first sitch, we didn't deal with the underlying issues in the MR and we were a ticking timebomb for another walkaway scenario.
If it took a couple of nights with this lady to get you to start detaching from your EX, then I question whether you were putting in the hard work necessary to make your next R more successful.
Note, I'm not suggesting you don't date, that's up to you. But I would highly advise against using dating as your catalyst for moving forward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
