I’m not even sure if this is the right place but my marriage is teetering.
It is the right place. Welcome. I arrived here in 2008/9. I have been "studying and learning" about this topic since then.
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I am 50, W is 46. 2 sons. Same old story - well not exactly. We have been married for 23 years.
I am 54.
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I am an L. My wife is a psychiatrist.
This will be interesting. We typically(99%) recommend getting legal advise and getting into IC.
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But my W was no longer meeting my intimacy needs and it was upsetting.
She had/has lost her attraction to you. Most guys do not "Get it" . I strongly suggest you focus on understanding how changing your behavior changes your attractiveness. There is a thread here that discusses this. That can be your baseline....doing more research in this area will be good for you.
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We had conversation after conversation.
Most people think talking will solve the issue. I believe changes in behavior and the way you interact are much better at solving these issues. Less talk, more action is almost always better.
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We did continue to have sex ( we had a standing time on Friday nights). But we we had arguments in would stop for a few months and it felt like she was punishing me.
There are changes to your behavior that can positively effect this. I can elaborate on this if you would like.
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I found out when I moved here she had something going on before we moved with another person. I initially thought it was some inappropriate texting over a few days. About a year later, I discovered there was more than I thought. At least 3 period of sexting (involving pics) and before we move they met and made out and did other stuff (not sex as I confirmed in their texts)
Sounds like you are not dealing with an active affair, but you can't rule out an active affair. Affairs are symptoms, not cause of issues in relationships. Understanding affairs is another area to do some research.
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But she was mad that I invaded her privacy to find out what I did and this led her to focus on the other times I invaded her privacy in the past. She grew up in a house where everyone respected everyone else’s privacy. While my upbringing everything was fair game like reading diaries, opening someone’s mail, etc.
