New here.

[BL42]

McRamone,

Sorry about your situation, but good you came here for support and advice. Make sure to post a lot and respond to others and you'll get more and more people commenting on your sitch.

I am 50, W is 46. 2 sons. Same old story - well not exactly. We have been married for 23 years.

How old are your two sons? Are they still living with you?

But my W was no longer meeting my intimacy needs and it was upsetting. We had conversation after conversation. She’d try for a few months then declare it was working so she stopped.

We did continue to have sex ( we had a standing time on Friday nights). But we we had arguments in would stop for a few months and it felt like she was punishing me.

You talk about your needs and frustrations. What about hers? What were her complaints? Are their behaviors you need to change to better yourself?

I found out when I moved here she had something going on before we moved with another person. I initially thought it was some inappropriate texting over a few days. About a year later, I discovered there was more than I thought. At least 3 period of sexting (involving pics) and before we move they met and made out and did other stuff (not sex as I confirmed in their texts)

Unfortunately in almost all cases the WS/WAS and their AP have done more than LBS spouse initially thinks or finds out about. Don't be surprised if it actually did involve sex. Sorry.

Initially she was very remorseful. She actually cut it off a few months before I found out. Went NC with the guy and just planned to focus on us. She had zero plans to run away with this guy for a number of reasons. I can talk about this later.

Remorseful is good. That's not always the case.

But she was mad that I invaded her privacy to find out what I did and this led her to focus on the other times I invaded her privacy in the past.

It's very common for the person having an affair to get angry and indignant about "invading privacy" or "trust issues" and see that in their minds as worse than the actual affair.

She has unfortunately decided that we need to separate. She wants to put some parameters around it. She said that she only wants a separate for three months (living in different places), she wants to continue seeing our MC. Her goal is to help dissipate some of the anger so she can work on the things she needs to do between us with a clear head.

I of course am terrified that this is just the first step towards divorce.

As it stands now she has a place. She’s planning on moving out sometime this wee to start the 3 months. And I am trying to be supportive about it but it’s causing me a lot of pain which I am terrible at hiding.

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to stop her from moving out. That's beyond your control. You need to let go. Use the time to focus on yourself and your sons. Make changes to behaviors you need to address. Work out. Get hobbies. Go out with friends. Work on yourself and make positive changes to improve your life.

I’ve spent time reading a lot of stories on this place I thought this would be a good place for me to vent and seek advice on how to get things back on track.

Good. Glad you're hear for support and advice. It really helped me a lot to read and hear about others' situations and know I wasn't alone and would be alright.