Hello. I'm still here though I can't get into my old account for anything...
It's been 5 years. I found a few of the current threads of people I remember from when it all began and you've mostly moved on and done new things... And here I am, still living with my MLC.
We've been around the rollercoaster a bunch of times and I've thought we were piecing...
The pandemic has been awful and also good. My 15 year old daughter, like so many, developed anorexia and became suicidal. My relationship with my MLC, once the most important thing, I had nothing left to care. And yet spending every day together, side by side, and him seeing the mountains I would climb to keep kiddo safe seemed to improve our relationship and earn his respect.
And also I became so fed up at times. I've stayed because I was afraid of being alone, handling a crisis on my own... And, you know, he helped some but also he became like ostrich and stuck his head in the sand a lot... And I was alone while next to someone and my contempt was hard to restrain at times.
And still. He sleeps in my room again. Oh sure, once a week and on an air mattress and I've asked for this for such a long time. And I care and I don't. I'm tired. Sometimes I wish I had just called it quits but also there has been so much growth and so much change... Ownit, if you're still here and I saw that you were, I think about you describing staying with your father until his last breath.... It's like that. There is still life here.
I've moved on and also I haven't.
Ex/om and I have really repaired our relationship. He stepped up, and we became good teammates again. I'll take it.
