You could pack up her stuff one night she's out partying and have it in the garage when she comes back.
No, you can't do that. That is probably illegal. I think this as well as packing her stuff up and moving it out of the MBR all smacks of trying to control her and tell her what to do. "you can't sleep in the MBR while you are cheating on me." Who is the LBS to say this? And how is it enforceable? I think you can say I'd strongly prefer that you to sleep elsewhere, but when it comes down to it, if the LBS doesn't want to share a bed with the WS and the WS won't leave the MBR, the LBS is free to enforce their own boundaries of not sleeping with their cheating spouse by sleeping in a different room. Boundaries protect you, not try to control the other person. Forcing her to sleep in a different room by packing up her $hit while she's out is a manipulative control move and anti-DB. Sorry, Steve-- think you missed on this one. (Though it is better than trying to pack up her stuff while she's out and putting it in the garage-- that is ten times worse. And won't look good to the judge if you have to go that route.)
That all being said, I also support staying in the MBR (if she wants to move out, be my guest) and staying in the house (ditto). I would NOT nest either. If she wants out of the M, she's free to sleep in the guest room, find her own place, etc. I can't recall if you've consulted an attorney yet or not-- if you haven't, I would so that you can start to plan out what the financial split will look like and thinking about what is best for you and the kids going forward. You might end up moving out of the house, but I don't see why you would do it now, if you want to stay married.
Regarding counseling-- I did discernment counseling and I would have recommended it while she was still wavering, but now that she's saying she's committed to D it feels like a waste of time. It is explicitly designed to help a couple decide if they want to split or work on the M. Seems like that ship has sailed (for now).
Did you shut off all communication with your ex GF? Or are you guys still in touch?
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
