SSRI's and divorce - Wife doesn't love me anymore

[BL42]

costanza,

and will do my best to avoid nesting.

I strongly suggest reaching into her purse and talking your balls back.

Agreed! What does "do my best to avoid it" even mean? “Do or do not. There is no try." Be strong. Own your house. If she brings it up, just say: "I've decided not to move out.", and then don't move out.

1-Divorce Counseling: "Unless you're willing to work on our marriage, there is no point in pursuing counseling."

2-Work Project: A quick mention of it or if she brings it up say "congrats" and then continue to go about your life.

3-Single:

She's already single in her head and living that way.

Very true. Except that's in her head. In real life she's married and cheating on you.

She's told me to start dating, that our relationship is over and its not cheating at this point.

Wait until you do and she ells her family, friends, and your kids you cheated on her as well.

Drunken late night party's are forecasted the next few weeks. I'm asking myself if I can deal with her stumbling in at all hours of the night (and morning) under the same roof

That's going to be extremely uncomfortable. You'll likely find separation to be a relief from IHS.

or if I ask her to move out before our planned move out date in January? I've read that's its smart to stay under the same roof if possible. At what cost? I don't feel she'll respect the situation.

You could pack up her stuff one night she's out partying and have it in the garage when she comes back. I'm assuming she's saying January so she can have family Christmas together? The thing is you're most likely heading for separation no matter what and you can't change it. You think maybe you can if you're nice and if you change she'll see the light in the next month or two and change her mind, but...odds are slim to none. The sooner you get strong now and stop acting in fear of what's to come the better.

4-Invites: Don't go with her family. I made that mistake...going for ice cream to to Ex-FIL's birthday when she really didn't want me there. I should've gone for a run or to the gym instead.

5-Lunch Offer: Don't bother, nice guy. She's cheating on you and divorcing you. She can get her own lunch.

6-Suggestions for IHS:

Any suggestions from experienced members before she moves out? anything specific I should try to do before? I'll be straight up, my ideal long-term scenario is we reconcile. I know that means i need to let her go and find herself, as well as other men for the next while, however long that is. The long game is played through the kids I guess. I just feel that the time we're under the same roof should probably be used strategically? Or is that manipulative and false hope on my end? I think I know the answer.

Become the best version of you. Be the best dad ever. Make positive changes to your behavior and the way you interact with everyone. Be attractive and seductive. Do not attempt to control her. Do not allow disrespect. Control yourself. Do not make these changes to attract her, do it for you. Do not let her control or manipulate you. Take your time to think about things and make decisions. Run things past us as needed.

^THIS!

If you are playing the long game statistics say it takes minimum of 2 years for a WS to change their mind.

Right. The long game is...really long. Best to get your mind wrapped around this. I think that's a big aspect the LBS's don't appreciate initially after BD / in the beginning of their sitches. I certainly didn't. Like COVID, which happened to line up with my sitch very closely, I initially thought "we'll get through this in a couple months". A year and a half later...