There is a 99% chance they did more than kiss. She's almost certainly still lying. Sorry man. You should pack up anything of hers she hasn't already taken and leave it on the porch for her. Having her stop in little by little isn't going to help your emotional state nor will it promote a recon, plus taking action will make you feel stronger.
That part is what is eating at me. I thought I knew her but now doubt is creeping in as to how far it really went.
Originally Posted by BL42
What do S19 and S21 think about the situation? They're living with you. Are they "team dad", or trying to stay neutral?
Both boys say they are on team dad. We are living with you and don't agree with what she has done. But s19 is struggling from depression and dealing with new baby. So he relies on her to look after baby when I can't.
Originally Posted by BL42
Why were you drinking more? Why were you unhappy? Were you frustrated about job, friends...your marriage? You should probably think hard on this one. Don't know if it's the case here, but often times the LBS spouse is often frustrated with their marriage but that gets lost in the fear and sense of loss after BD. Is it possible you weren't happy either and were acting out because of it? Something to ponder and reflect on as you work on becoming a better man for the future. Have you given any more thought to this?
I had a turbulent childhood. Not that I'm using it as an excuse but drank to numb or dull the memories. My sister was sexually assaulted by one of mums boyfriends. My grandmother molested me at age 4 or 5. My father used to beat my mother in front of me when I was younger. My father attempted to commit suicide and I saved him. He was not breathing and had no heart beat for 15 minutes. Always felt that my sister could do no wrong in my parents eyes and I was a failure.
When I became suspicious of the affair and with her denial I drank more to numb the pain.
I have since gone to a counsellor and am dealing with my drinking and coping strategies.
