I started out feeling and saying many of the things your WAW is....
Stop trying to figure out what is going on in her head. She is very confused and hurting, just as much as you. She may be saying that its over but she is giving signs that she still has doubts. Work the DB program. Focus on you. Stop trying to control her and the situation. Let her have space, as much space and time as possible. Do not mention divorce or lawyers that will do nothing but irritate the situation. Plus if you start making these idle threats you may find yourself getting a divorce and not just talking about one. If you do not want a D wait for her to make the advances in that direction and even then make it clear that is not what you want or think would be right in your situation. I guess my main point before I get more info is to not give up. I know this is a sucky time and you are a mess but you need to DB and give your WAW time to see your 180's. Plant the seeds of doubt. See what parts you played in this and do your best to work on them if you want to save the M. Your WAW will have to own up to her parts too but it's got to start somewhere.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
