It is a learned skill. Just make it a goal and practice. Body language, eye contact, facial expressions, vocal tones and inflections skills can all be practiced at the same time as well.
Practice while standing in line for a coffee. One good way is looking around and identifying something unique or interesting. It can be as simple as "Those muffins look good....have you tried them?" Or "Those muffins are huge!"
With the staff, they typically ask my name to write on the coffee cup...I ask their name. The next day, I address them by their name....they typically are shocked. They then ask me my name...I tease them.."I told you yesterday"....twinkle in my eye....at some point I remind them...From that point on, they call me by name.
Don't make it complicated. Most of the time I make the conversation all about them. It is their story and I want to know their beliefs. I can listen to their political views. They can be left or right. I don't argue. I don't recommend politics for small talk, but hopefully you get the idea.
You can typically put people into "talker" or "listener" category. Small talk is much easier with your opposite. If you interact with your similar type, you need to shift to the other tye.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I abhor small talk. I find it useless and a waste. I am very pragmatic, even with my words.
What R2C wrote above is correct. Practice it when out and about. Engage strangers, certainly if someone initiates conversation with you, embrace it. Ask questions as that leads to more communication. Be pleasant, present, and sincere.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Remember, the goal of small talk is to find topics both of you are interested in conversing about. Safe small talk topics at a BBQ include the weather, the food, and how you got invited. E.g., at the Halloween Party I went to this past weekend a fellow was pointing out the Rioja (wine) he brought. I mentioned my Spanish go-to was solera-style Tempranillo and wondered how he got into Riojas. Apparently, he'd visited an underground winery in Spain. He asked if I enjoyed looking at travel photos. I said definitely. I spotted some windmills in the photo and asked if they were taken near La Mancha and it was, he made a reference to Rocinante and we were apparently both aficionados of foreign cultures and travel and began sharing about our experiences. Some conversations last longer, some conversations last shorter, and it's okay to pause between them.
It is old guys saying "Can you hear me? I can hear you...." (My attempt at humor)
From national association of amateur radio:
Quote
Amateur Radio (ham radio) is a popular hobby and service that brings people, electronics and communication together. People use ham radio to talk across town, around the world, or even into space, all without the Internet or cell phones. It's fun, social, educational, and can be a lifeline during times of need.
Although Amateur Radio operators get involved for many reasons, they all have in common a basic knowledge of radio technology and operating principles, and pass an examination for the FCC license to operate on radio frequencies known as the "Amateur Bands." These bands are radio frequencies allocated by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) for use by ham radio operators.
google: baofeng uv-5r IC-7300 Software Defined Radio (RSP1A)
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Yes! I'm curious how the BBQ went after all the small talk tips from Ready2Change and I. Wherever you are, Mr StopBeingScared, I hope your situation is improving.
