Yes, I am resentful. Yes, I am having a hard time forgiving and forgetting almost 42 years of neglect. As I have said, I was always the one trying to add "spice" to the MR......not "Mr. Bump on a Log"! I needed that emotional intimacy so badly that first year of M! I practically begged him for it....but he couldn't do it and as a result, my body shut down to him and I couldn't respond to him sexually. But, then I was the bad one! When I tried to talk.....he wouldn't even acknowledge me by looking at me when I talked. He wouldn't answer me when I asked him a question. He just stared at the TV. But, his answer was always the same.....just have more sex and that would solve the problems of the world!
Sorry, I just get so tired of it all. I think he needs to take his share of the responsibility of the breakdown of the M and he doesn't. He doesn't think he has done one thing wrong. Well, I just don't know if I can get the grit and grace to overcome all of that and respond to him sexually or not. We are talking about a lot of years of neglect to meet emotional needs. Yes, I did not meet his needs sexually.....but neither were mine met either. I tried over and over to tell him that if he would only meet me half-way and compromise and come to bed with me and hold me and talk to me that I could respond to him sexually. One time.........one time....he tried it and it was the best night of our entire M. I'll never forget it as long as I live. And all he had to do was talk to me. I was on cloud nine. You would think that he could see what a difference a small jester like that would make, wouldn't you? He never did it again.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
