Legally separated, in our homes...Part 2

[Mach40]

I need to sit down with her, talk of where we are and whats happening.

Hi Mach, Where ARE you? What IS happening? I think if you want this R talk to be meaningful, the burden is on you to say something meaningful. If my LBS started with those questions, I'd reply, "I'm in my house thinking about my plans for this weekend."

Then decide when to file for divorce

You will decide if/when to file after you tell her where you are and what's happening?

so we have ample time to get her health care looked into ( thats me ensuring she is covered properly without rushing into it).

Is your wife who wants to life solo mentally ill, suffering from Alzheimers, or something? I.e., why does she need your help for this. Do you feel she's incapable? Does she feel she's incapable?`

Then talk about plan going forward, B Days and all Holidays are separate. The girls will understand.

Have you thought through alternatives? Is that what you want?

Okay, in regards to "Whats happening", I would ask where are we as a couple, is reconciliation and option? Explain I cant be her friend while separated, not healthy and sends wrong signals when we are around each other... As we are to comfortable around each other.. Almost the same as before we married.
My wife has some health issues, to where I would want to make sure she has good health plan to cover her illnesses.. Its just doing the right thing.. Research, and find a solid plan to ensure she is taken care of to her liking.
Not sure of any real alternatives. If I tell her I want a divorce, she may go passive aggressive and shut me down too. Never know. But, What would be a good alternative to any of the dates, holidays etc?