Mach you need to make it clear about what you want and need. People respond to that. Being an emotional chameleon, "trying" to be detached doesn't work. This is hard, but, it helps avoid all the back and forth limbo. Does she want to be married to you or not? Thus far she said she is not attracted and numb to you. Act on that. If you want something else, state it. You can say, "If you want to work on this marriage, fine, if you don't, I have some decisions to make in the next few weeks." Strength and clarity are attractive.
