Still pretty bad sitch

[BL42]

Gal

Today - Taking eldset son to football, Walking around running track while he plays and listening to a self help book, Working on my solution orientated goals
Tomorrow - Going shopping for new clothes for the BBQ. Im gonna have a blast there and meet some new people,Watching tv with the boys
Friday - Going for a 5 k run, Taking the boys out for breakfast with my friend,Going out with a work colleague and his wife in the evening for dinner and drinks

Great GAL! Love the multitasking today (son's football game, exercise, and self help). Easier to fit a lot in when you have it planned out. Still a little unsure about this BBQ...might be better to do something without W? But like the new clothes and meeting people and not hanging on her attitude.

During the R talk I didnt raise my voice, I stressed I wanted to get my family back. I let her do 60% of the talking and tried to validate and empathise.

I like LH's goal to go from 40% of the talking to 20% of the talking.

The R talk ended with her saying she was still “observing”.

That's not a TERRIBLE outcome. It sounds like you did not lash out at her, break down crying, or spend hours trying to persuade her. Keep working at it. (:

Agreed the outcome wasn't terrible. Good you kept your cool. Agree w/LH on CW on reducing your talking.

The "observing" comment from your W comes off as condensing to me. SHE's the one having an AFFAIR and she needs to observe YOU?!? You need to flip your attitude around so that you're the prize and she's lucky if YOU take HER back.

Im very angry with myself that she cheated and I have been the one pussyfooting around.

Yep. See my comment above.