Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself - to let go. You don't even have to say anything to her. It's just about understanding she's a flawed person who is struggling and letting go of the resentment.
I wouldn't have me ex back on a platter, but I work on seeing the ways in which he struggled (depression, possible mild bipolar, family of origin issues). It doesn't excuse his infidelity but seeing where it came from makes it easier for me to let go of the resentment.
