5 weeks until pre-trial

[job]

I do not blame your D16 for quitting therapy. The therapist should be listening to her and guiding her.

[BL42]

I want this over with.

I can certainly understand that, and it sounds like your process is way longer and drawn out than mine and others'. Hang in there.

Stbxh took D16 therapy and she quit after 3 sessions because the therapist told her that he didn't cheat.

I do not blame your D16 for quitting therapy. The therapist should be listening to her and guiding her.

Agreed. Why would the therapist make a factual determination? Doesn't seem like a therapist' role.

[kas99]

Pre-trial is in 2 days and the judge will tell us how she'd rule if this were an actual trial. Can stbxh stall again if he doesn't like the ruling? The reason I'm asking is because I'm trying to budget. Is his next move to schedule a trial or can he just crawl back under his rock? I'm going to wait him out so I want to know what his choices are.

[kml]

Pre-trial is in 2 days and the judge will tell us how she'd rule if this were an actual trial.

Since I did all my divorce through mediation, I don't really know much about this - but this sounds like the pre-trial is an opportunity to reach a settlement short of actually going to trial by hearing what a court would likely say at a trial? So, for instance, if the pre-trial says you would probably get X and Y, and you've already made an offer to H that you'll settle for just X, he'd be a fool not to take that offer and instead go to trial and risk having to give you X AND Y, right?

[kas99]

kml,

Stbhx and I agreed on a settlement to his favor (not in writing). He evicted me from my house via email and was playing cruel head games so I cut him off, moved and waited to get served. I found out about the OW and the game changed. He had no intention of filing anytime soon and I was PISSED. I've gone through 2 attorneys, had 10 court dates, he's had 2 years to make this right and he hasn't so the original offer is off the table. See you in court and I've got nothing but time.

**rant over**

The order says "if a settlement is not reached at pre-trial, then and only then will a trial on the merits will be set". This sounds like mediation with a judge doesn't it? Google says something else but every state/judge might be different.

I've paid all my legal fees in cash including the cost of the pre-trial and preparation of the decree. This is a nothing divorce so I don't think my case has "merits". Maybe I won't have to go into debt.

27 hours until pre-trial.

[kml]

Wishing you luck!

[kas99]

Dumb question but what should I wear? Some people talk about showing him how great I look now but I don't care. He's dead to me.

I'm glad I got my hair done because it has boosted my self confidence but when it comes to clothes I think I'd rather be comfortable. I live in slightly baggy pants and this time of year sweaters. I do not own a blazer.

[Dawn70]

Wear something that fits well and that you feel comfortable in. Don't take this wrong, but who gives a d@mn about him, right? It isn't about showing him anything. It is about you feeling confident, strong, ready to face whatever happens and move forward.

I, personally, have always been taught that you "dress up" for the important things in life so I think a nice sweater and some slacks would be fine, if you have those and would feel comfortable in them. I would be careful with the baggy stuff, though, because you don't want to look sloppy or like you don't care, unless, of course, the pants you are wearing are supposed to be baggy. If they are not, I'd invest in a new, better fitting pair.

[bttrfly]

I agree with Dawn. Something you would consider business casual, comfortable yet more on the business side than the casual side. Remember, accessories are your friend. Ex. yesterday I had to work the booth at a trade show. I paired black pants with a fawn colored sweater, black flats and a long pretty necklace that was navy, pretty sparkly crystals, and pearls which I knotted towards the bottom and some pretty bracelets. Simple, comfortable, but the necklace and bracelets kicked it up a notch. Mascara and I was good to go (no need for lipstick as we had to wear masks all day).

You've got this. Don't kill yourself if you don't have a necklace you like. A scarf would be nice too.

[Dawn70]

Oh yes, accessorize, girl! I don't wear make-up, so I can't give my thoughts there, but simple, tasteful accessories go a long way to pulling an outfit together.